Another Sunday at school...

Welp, here I am. I've been working foooooooor 15 days straight now. WOW. Granted, a few of those days were spent grading at home, and at least one of them was spent cleaning my parents' house. But I haven't had a day off in soooooooo long.

I have a huge presentation tomorrow. It's like, soooo big you guys. It's my results meeting. This is when my committee gets their first chance of ripping me a new arse hole. And I have to take it. And they may even tell me my results are worthless (which, the more I practice this presentation, the more I think they might be). And then what will I do? Also, there's a chance that one committee member won't let me defend in June anyway. Not because of worthless results (though, like I said, there's a chance), but because she may or may not be here. And she won't give me an answer. And I really need to know. Ughhh.

So I've been at school trying to get this presentation done, and grading done, so on Monday I can have some semblance of a "weekend". Though it really won't be a weekend. It will be more of a take-some-time-for yourself-because-you-haven't-in FIFTEEN-DAYS afternoon. And that will feel really nice. I'm going to work out (because I haven't in a week...so much for routine...), I'm going to register for more stuff, and I'll probably spring clean and watch bad tv and go to bed early. YAY I can't wait for this meeting to be over!

And then, after Monday, it's back to the grindstone. Full freaking force people. (But I do hope I'll find time to workout). See, if I want to defend in June, which is like, two months away, I need to write my entire thesis. But see, I'm going to HAWAII in a few weeks. And sure, I'll bring my laptop, but what good is that really going to do, really? Yeah......

Also, for the record, I'm not complaining. I see a light at the end of the tunnel! For the first time! And yeah, it's only a pin prick, and sometimes it seems to flicker, and it definitely does not seem to be getting any bigger, but it's there. And that's great. I'm really excited for the summer. Lots of great things ahead.

On geology

Ok so I consumed caffeine this morning for the first time in a long time, and I am WIRED. I already finished grading papers, did one run-through of my presentation, and have read a zillion articles and blogs, all in 2 1/2 hours. That's a record for me [that's also why I weaned myself off of caffeine--now when I need  it, it really REALLY works]. And right now I just feel like I need to write. It's a weird feeling, but if I don't I might EXPLODE!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I was in the structure lab this morning and something caught my eye. It was a hand-written note on the white board by one of the undergrads who also uses the lab. It said:

I love rocks, chocolate and Katie

That's it. But reading it brought back some strong (albeit weird) emotions. Mostly from my undergrad. When I really really loved geology. Like, I loved it a lot. I loved learning about it, I loved telling people about it, I loved field trips, I loved fantasizing about grad school and my life as a Geo professor. I just loved it. I loved how it made sense. How it combined my love for the outdoors with my desire to learn. I loved that it encompassed everything from volcanoes to landslides to glaciers to diamonds. I just found it so loveable.

But reading that thing on the board reminded me that I no longer have that passion. And before you stop reading because you think this is going to digress into a "woe is me, I should have done something different, my life sucks and I'm only in my twenties, I'll never find a career" don't. Because it won't. Don't get me wrong I have those thoughts all the time, but there's still a glimmer of hope.  And sometimes I need to remind myself of that.

Like when I go out into the field with the class I TA for. I love showing those kids how to map and I love learning more about the Wasatch Mountains. Those four hours on a Friday are some of my best all week.

Or when I'm making maps with Ron. Granted, it just started, but yesterday I had so. much. fun. doing it. Really!

Or when I'm hanging out with professionals that have cool jobs. It reminds me that there will be something out there for me that doesn't revolve around oil or academia.

But a lot of times I forget about that glimmer, and I get down on myself and I wonder what happened? What happened to the passion and the desire to learn as much as I could? I come to school each day now because I have to, not because I want to. I get all sorts of anxiety thinking about a future career. I ask myself pointless questions such as why I didn't become a doctor or a journalist?

But I guess I just need to remember those glimmers. They're there. And I still love geology. It's just not as strong or in my face as it was when I was an undergrad. I know this is sort of a pointless post, but I just needed to air it out. That's how I get through things. So, sorry if you feel like you've wasted your time. I just re-read it and realized I solved my own problem, but I guess that's why I write, you know? It's my own form of therapy.

A list of sorts

There is nothing in particular I want to write about today, but I still want to write. Why? Because it's the end of the month and to get four posts in in one month is pretty good for me. Also, I have nothing to do (well, that's a lie, I have about one hour's worth of things to do). Also, there are things that I'm doing (and not doing) in my life that I feel need attention.

• I am not going to write a review of The Hunger Games as previously promised. If you haven't read it already you're an idiot. And if you have read it already--ohmygod did you hate the ending as much as I did?!?!?!?!?!? And are you going to the midnight showing of the movie???!?!?!?
• I am no longer training for the half marathon. I know. Quitters suck. I was getting to the seven mile point and two things happened. One, I was extremely bored. Tommy stopped running with me and I couldn't do an hour and half alone so I could only do it on my parents' treadmill while watching Mad Men. Two, after those long runs I would be sore for the ENTIRE week. I never recovered. And then I would have to do it again. The way I see it, quitting was probably for the best. I HATE failing at something. And there was no way I was going to be able to run that thing alone. There was no sense in beating myself up about it. So the only logical thing to do was quit. Maybe next year...
• On the wedding front: we've gotten the tux's--off-white dinner jackets by RL paired with black pants--for a steal. Let me tell you. A local company, Tuxedo Junction had a one week offer: for $70 you could get any tux in the store. We jumped on it. We didn't have to get the tux's right then, we just had to pay up front and we'll get them in August. Wheeeeee! 

This is kind of a stupid picture, but whatevs. Source

• Also on the wedding front: we almost have a florist! I say almost because I'm pretty sure we're going to make the decision today. We've spoken to a couple of vendors, and both really understood my "vision" (hahahahahahaha my "vision" is not too fancy, no roses, no red, casual, wildflowers but absolutely NO rustic elements--mason jars, etc. This isn't Little House on the Prairie people). The one we picked is mostly based on price. They came in about $500 below the other, and had a better selection of flowers--not too shabby.
• Last night I made this version of French Onion Soup. It was...ok. It was easy to make (albeit time consuming) and it tasted fine, it was just a bit vinegar-y to me. I like my FOS to be a bit more savory. But if you like vinegar and not a lot of hassle, this soup's for you!
• I haven't walked to school at all this week because I suck. Sorry, earth.

And that's it! I guess for now. I really should do that bit o work I do have so I can just go home. Tommy's really sick, and I think I'm starting to get it. My nose is runny and itchy as hach ee double hocky sticks and my throat is getting a tickle. I downed some vitamin C but I've also been hanging with Tommy for about 65 of the last 72 hours....whoops!

New Years Resolutions

Oh man, has it really been an entire year since I  wrote this?? Cray cray.

Last year I resolved to really and truly budget myself. It totally worked. Once I figured out a budget I was able to save enough to not work at all in the summer, and since I started making money again after the summer was over, I continued with the same budget, and I will definitely have plenty to play with next summer!

I also resolved to lose weight. Well, that's kind of funny. I totally did this too. And again, I've kept it off. Although recently I've been feeling a bit above normal, but I'm going to blame the holidays. What's funny about it is actually not that funny but really really annoying. I got weighed today at the doctor's office and I'm a robust uhm, well, let's just say that the scale at school is about five pounds off. FIVE WHOLE POUNDS. That's too many pounds in my opinion. So even though I've lost weight since last year, I'm really still kind of over weight sooooo.....

Finally I resolved to get a hobby. This is the one that didn't really work. Maybe exercising? I don't know. Luckily Tommy isn't sick of me yet. In fact he wants to spend the rest of his life with me! Mwhahahaahahahaha.

So onto this year's self promises.

• Lose more weight. See above. I want to look smokin hot at the wedding. So after this marathon business I am going to tone up my arms and back (which, quite honestly they're not that bad so this shouldn't be too hard).
• Write this ish at least once a week. I have really enjoyed this streak that I am on, so I'm going to try to make it last. It's fun looking back and seeing what I have done.
• Cook more. This is a hard one. Tommy and I have such busy schedules, not to mention that they're not really schedules at all! We come home at different times depending on how busy one or both of us is. We sleep at different houses on a whim. It's hard to plan out meals. And sometimes after getting home at 7:30 or 8 after a full day of school PLUS a four mile run, all I want to do is drive through the local 24 hour Mexican and call it a night. But no more! I really love cooking. And I really love the results. I wish I could give myself a number (see second resolution), but I just know everything is too random right now, so I can't.

Well, I think I've wasted enough time for the day and I can finally email my boss and tell him I'm leaving! (he's at a retreat anyway...I'm not a bad employee! [It's winter vacation, I don't even have to be here {stop with the judgy eyes!!!!!}])

The art of procrastinating

The above title is nothing new to this blog. I clearly write when I'm bored at my computer, which is invariably when I'm at school avoiding work. Which is exactly what is happening right now.

I'm not entirely sure how I became so good at this procrastinating stuff. In the past I have blamed my lack of activity and things to do. I know that seems crazy, but hear me out. I found that when I was taking four classes, plus four labs, plus working 20 hours a week, plus researching a capstone paper I had no time to procrastinate. I had to get things done. And in order to get things done on time, I needed to start right away. The past year and half has been a completely different story. I haven't taken more than three classes (only one with a lab). I only spend MAX 10 hours a week on my TAing duties. And the "thing" that needs to get done? That pesky thesis. AND IT'S NOT DUE FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS!!!! (ok, now that I think about it, it's due in maybe five months...YIKES). So I just get into this habit of reading shit online that at first seems useful and then all of a sudden two hours later I look up (yes, I get so slouched down reading drivel online that I actually have to look up to see the clock in the top right hand corner of my computer) and realize I have yet to do anything with my day! WTF??!?!?!?!?!? It's crazy! If I even spent as much as half of my day working on my thesis as I do on the interwebz I would probably be halfway done by now!

But the point is...how did I sink so low? How have I become this person who could multi-task and time manage and get stuff done like a CHAMP to doing practically nothing day in and day out? Is it really a lack of deadline? Is it a lack of motivation? Is it a lack of other shit in my life? It's hard to say. I've made deadlines for myself, I've made cute crafty to-do lists, and computerized to-do lists, I have added activities to my day (and life) like going to the gym, cooking dinner, wedding planning, going to church (more on that later), I have gotten a second moniter, I have created little rewards for myself for finishing projects, I have forced myself to stay at school until six instead of five AND NOTHING WORKS. It's 1:33 pm right now, I have been here since 9 am and all I've done is opened the document.

Yeah yeah yeah I could just make myself do it right? RIGHT?!?!?! Yeah I wish. I just can't. Me, the person who was able to stop smoking COLD EFFING TURKEY can't write a gd thesis. I just don't get it. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

But after this post I have promised myself that I will write until 6 if not later. So we'll see how that goes.

Also, book review coming soon (just finished a doozy--well two doozies) and a craft review. Hahahahahah look at me, blogging. Psh.

New Years Resolutions (part two...I guess)

Guys, I did it. I am about three weeks into January and am fully sticking to my new years resolutions!

Well at least the first two, for now.

About the budget:

I get paid $747 every two weeks. Yikes, I know.
If it's the first of the month:

• $500 directly into savings

If it's the middle of the month:

• $40 into savings
• $460 into a different rent account

That leaves me with $287 for two weeks:

• $100 for groceries ($50 a week)
• ~$15-$20 for gas (this averages out over the month as I fill up when when I fill up, and it usually lasts me three to four weeks)
• The rest (~$160) is for fun. I realize that this is excessive, but I enjoy buying things! I can't be one of those super thrifty people. Not yet at least. I'm already saving for summer and car insurance, which means that in the short-term-long-term I'm set. Also, I haven't even spent close to this 160ish amount, and what I have left over by the time my next paycheck comes in goes straight into savings. 

Since I do have so much excess, I think after a few months I'll see what I can cut (maybe only $75 for groceries over two weeks?) That way I won't have to work over the summer, which is a number one priority right now :).

Anyways, guess what I'm supposed to be doing work, so I think I'll sign off for now and make this into a series. Hahahaha (evil laugh).

Get crafty, pt. 1

It's a new semester and that means plenty of time for procrastinating! Which means that I can finally update my blog with things that I did last semester.

[side note: ever notice how a student (and probably professors) mark their time in semesters? How the year doesn't start with January first but with "sometime-in-august"? So, right now, this is the middle of my year. Though it's everyone else's beginning.....oh well!]

I made awesome blinds, bitches. The window above my bed did not come with any sort of shade and seeing as I was in the basement, I selectively chose to think that no one could see into my bedroom...though I'm sure the neighbors got plenty of entertainment anyways. But, NO MORE will I (and Tommy ;) ) be giving free shows to the world! Thanks to this blog, hiphousegirl[dot]wordpress[dot]com (again, not linking because of the super-stalker way I discovered it), I found this blog and made some sweet-as blinds.

Step 1. Buy supplies.
      -Fabric that you like
      -Blinds that fit the width (height doesn't matter) of your window
      -Fabric glue

 2. Cut up the blinds. Take most of the slats off by cutting the thin strings that connect them. Measure the height of your window and decide how many folds you want in your new shade. I chose three, each being about a foot apart.

 3. Glue fabric onto blinds. Drink beer.

 4. The hiphouse girl used cans to make the glue stick, but I found that they just rolled off. Probably due to the unevenness of my apartment.

 5. Find boyfriend to hang them up!

 YAY!!! More crafty posts to come!

Total ripoff

So...you know how a few blog posts ago I was lamenting the fact that I really wanted a cute artsy inspirational blog and just couldn't get it? You know how I said that the only reason why I was starting a blog was because I was inspired by some cute artsy ones? Well, I'm gonna start having one of those blogs god damnit! And I'm totally ripping off this girl's: A Little Diggity by Steph Turmelle. It's on blogspot, you can find it if you want. I'm not linking to it because the only reason why I know about it is because we did one group project together and she always links to it in her gchat profile and yeah, I'm sort of a stalker that way. Sort of. And getting back to the not linking to it portion--I once heard that if you link to someone else's blog they are notified. And then she would know I'm a creepy blog stalker. In summation: I'm all about giving credit where credit is due, but not to the point that some random girl in my English summer class thinks I'm stalking her. Even though I am. Well, just her cool blog.

ANYWAYS

If you didn't go in search of her blog, the gist of it is this: she created a list of things she wants to do in her life and then she's doing them. Anything from making good soup to learning how to snowboard. Though this is the main purpose of her blog, it won't be for mine. I just think that there is something lathargic about checking things off of your bucket list.

Now, I'm supposed to be doing Matlab, but I'm taking a *quick* break so I'm not actually going to write out a whole list, just two things to get started:

#1. Write (and frequently add-to) a list of things I want to do in my life
#2. Document things I'm greatful for (also ongoing) as I'm really good at complaing about my pretty cool life.

So uh....

Sortakinda forgot I had this thing. So uh, I'm back on here I guess.

Things I've done:

Chose the University of Utah for grad school.
Graduated magna cum laude.
Drove out to Utah with him.
Spent the summer doing nothing...and it was glorious.
Started grad school.

Books I've read:

Reading Lolita in Terhan
Love Medicine
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Girl who Played with Fire

***Graduate school is hard, NYT best-sellers are easy-do the math***

Other:
Parents got a dog.
Going to his house for Christmas (read: eek!)
Gained a zillion pounds.

Anyways, school's great. Love it. Could take or leave being back home. Need to lose weight.

Will update more

Pro/Con

When it comes to picking a graduate school, what is more important? Specific program, or everything else?

Will I hate living in Salt Lake?

Will I regret not being with him [I don't want this to be a factor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]?

Is the money worth it?

Do I risk being at a computer instead of in the field because it's "cutting edge"?

Is one peer better than three?

Am I being too impulsive?

Have I already made up my mind, but pretending I didn't for the sake of argument?






[The scary part is, I think the last one is true...]


PS: Type Tony Bennett & The Count Basie Band into your pandora and fall in love.

1 day. 3 hours. 12 minutes.

...until he gets here. And it couldn't be going by any slower. I guess it's time to make a list of things I need to do, because it seems that whenever I make a list of things to do, I don't EVER have enough time to do them all. Perhaps it will help make time fly...

• 9:10-11:45
• Finish this blog
• Chemistry lab write-up
• Volcanology lab
• Hand in Earth History lab
• If time: chemistry practice problems/review for test
• 11:45-12:50
• Chemistry lecture
• 12:50-1:35
• Get lunch
• Eat lunch
• Work on Volcanology lab
• 1:35-7:00
• Finish/hand in Volcanology lab
• Chemistry practice problems??
• Clean house
• Laundry
• Dishes
• Bathroom
• My room
• Nap??
• Dinner
• 7:00-12:30
• WORKKKK
• 12:30-9:00
• Sleep
• 9:00-11:50
• Clean more house
• Wash couch covers
• Wash floor
• Any dishes left over?
• Pick up living room
• Wash sheets
• Pick up bed room
• 11:50
• LEAVE TO GO PICK HIM UP!

Rain rain...

...go away...

ps, got into grad school and they want to pay me 10 grand.

Can't grades just speak for themselves?

If my whole life wasn't depending on it, my personal statement would look something like this (keep in mind, they all pretty much ask the same thing...but they want it in essay form):

1. Future plans in geology: Hike around in the desert and mountains (ie, the American West) and come up with interesting theories as to why they are the way they are. Oh, and never work behind a desk unless it comes with a professor-ship at a neat school. And is made of some sort of dark wood. And it sits in a room full of books, geologic and otherwise. And I teach young, eager minds. Either or is fine by me. Otherwise I'm not going to work ever.


2. Why you want to pursue a Masters Degree(at this school): So that I can do the above, plus your school is located in a small town close to my home surrounded by sweet geology.

3. What specifically you would like to research: Structure...I like mountains.

4. Overall preparation to enter your chosen field: Probably not quite enough but brimming with enthusiasm!

5. Special interests: Being outside and good food...are we done yet?

Alas, tis not. And all the time I've wasted on the internet in the past hour or so probably would have been better spent phrasing the above in a very poetic, appealing, and much more serious way. Unfortunately, I lack productivity at the moment...

Once again, avoiding necessary engagements.

UPDATE: constantly being distracted by this blog . In part because I'm reading his book (Hurricanes: Their Nature and Impact on Society) for this paper, in fact, it's right in front of me. In part because his blog offers insightful (and interesting) commentary on the subject (hurricanes and warm[ing?] SSTs). In part because I'm always up for distractions. CHECK IT OUT!


Hello blogspot.


Guess who has to write a paper?

Rocks have been shaken

So I'm sitting in the library and I need to find two TWO!!!! resources to bring to class tomorrow. It's a research paper on hurricanes to make a long story short. Unfortunately, I have found way more than two. I am getting completely caught up in the whole "is climate change human caused or not" debate. Like HOLY SHIT PEOPLE!!! The president of the environmental club might be switching sides. Woah. Some convincing sites include:
-This video on debunking the IPCC report
-Some Phd's blog
-And this whole site in general

To top it all off, while researching, I discovered that a professor I'm considering working under is NEUTRAL about the anthropogenic thingy!

Anyways, I really should get back to my research. It's already been three hours and I haven't accomplished much.